An Open Letter of Gratitude
How do I possibly convey all the gratitude bursting from my heart? There so many more people I kept wanting to add to this list. I've said it before and I will say it forever, talking to people - the strangers, the outcasts, the forbidden, the loved, the close, the far, will give your soul the most beautiful fruits of wisdom and joy that life has to offer. Ask for divine appointments. Let people in, listen and learn from them. ♡ Thank you to all those that have made an impact on my life. Your gifts will be passed on.
An assortment of differing chairs of varying heights. A long, pieced together table. A spread of savory delectables and goblets of wine. Surrounded by a dozen and a half familiar faces of my relations. Every year, before we dive into our Thanksgiving feast, as our mouths water and our tummies rumble, we delay our appetites by taking turns giving thanks for our blessings over the last year. There are giggles, tears and teasing and a whole lot of gratefulness.
This year, as the baton was handed off down the row, it was unanimous how grateful we were for our family and friends. There was a whole world missing for me though, as everyone looked around the table, appreciating how so many were able to join us. My kids were not there. I felt alone. Grief-stricken. Unseen.
It got me thinking about who all else I’m truly grateful for. The unsung heros - outside of my mom (who undoubtedly will forever be my biggest cheerleader). In these last several years of pain, learning, purging and growing, I have come to know some of the finest individuals I could be privileged enough to call my friends. These were comrades ushered into my life through one circumstance or another. Who saw me then walked with me through whatever trenches and parades my next days brought.
The friend that steadied my hands when the PTSD hit hard. The one that checked in on my mental health. The one that let me have my tantrums in a judgement-free zone. The one that made a list of possible solutions because this was “our” problem. The one that reminded me to get outside and breathe the fresh air. I am grateful for you.
The friend who’s another parent at the school. Who saw me and heard me, and asked me to lunch or for coffee. Who wanted to hear the story of me. Who felt safe to tell me the story of who they were. Who offered to help with my kids. Who dropped off a bag of hand-me-down clothes or plates of cookies. I am grateful for you.
The work family friends. The ones who have seen me day in and day out of every rollercoaster I’ve been on. The filterless friends that not only tell me how it is, but bail me out when I’m “in the weeds”. The bonus social life I am privileged to be a part of, who know my relationships statuses and how to razz me best. Who have watched me cry and made me smile. The ones who remind me what I deserve. I am grateful for you.
The friend who wanted to see me succeed. The friend who built me up and asked me what they can do to help. The friend who had a rolodex network stashed in their mind ready to share a contact they know I may find benefit in. The encourager that reminded me to keep going, keep trying and not give up because sometimes the devil wants to keep us from God’s greatest plans. I am grateful for you.
The friends I may not see for weeks or months, but they always kept me close to their heart. The ones that when we did come back together, it was as if there were never a pause. The lifers I knew I could always turn to for love and support without the petty conditions of a ‘tit for tat’. I am grateful for you.
We may not know each other’s wireless network passwords or entire family trees, but the care and generosity of their souls were as welcoming and appreciated as a warm cup of hot cocoa after the season’s first bone-chilling snow shovel. These are the people that got me through my hardest times. The ones that still walk into my messy house, my messy kids, my messy life, and don’t bat an eyelash at it’s chaos.
These people are a gift to my life. And though the words don’t convey the depth of my gratitude: Thank you.