That’s What People Do, They Leave

This afternoon I took myself to see Jesus Revolution after the suggestion came from an old friend who loved it.  And now I’m jumping in and saying the same: it’s worth the watch.

It’s based on a true story.  Maybe it’s due to my life right now or maybe it’s due to past experiences, and I tried to discern the reason why I loved it so much.  I think I’ve come to the conclusion though, that it’s simply well-made and relatable on some level to everyone who has ever experienced faith or struggled with longing. 

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I worried a little, while curling up in my reclined seat in anticipation, that the movie would capitalize on cliché or “pot-stirring” themes.  Something to inspire free publicity by judgmental or atheist critics to make headlines about.  It finally came towards the end of the movie when a preacher began performing healing during a sermon.  It was a little cringe-worthy and to be honest, I thought “oh great, that’s where this movie is going to lose viewers.”  But that is not how the rest of the movie played out and it in fact used this scene to later demonstrate the gifts of God that are given to us, and the ones that our egos believe we need.

There were nuggets of wisdom in every scene.  I hurriedly typed one-liners into my phone throughout the movie.  The first to jab me put me on high alert for the rest of the show: “that’s what people do, they leave.”  For someone who has fought greatly with the inner discord of abandonment, this one brought me to my knees. I’ve struggle with this being in my heart every day. They developed this part of the story well: a father who left, a mother who was unavailable, friends who didn’t stick around when there was a change, a trusted person of council who let someone down, a mentor who abruptly left the mentee and broken families of varying degrees.  There were deep wounds and soul searching, broken people “looking for truth”, trying to outrun what raged inside them, that they couldn’t persevere or make sense of.

...The sailors were terrified when they heard this, for [Jonah] had already told them he was running away from the Lord.  “oh, why did you do it?” they groaned.  “Throw me into the sea,” Jonah said, “and it will calm again.  I know that this terrible storm is all my fault.”  Instead the sailors rowed harder to get the ship to land.  But the stormy sea was too violent for them, and they couldn’t make it.  Then the sailors picked Jonah up and threw him into the raging sea and the storm stopped at once! 

(Jonah 1: 10, 12-13, 15)

The movie continued to provide nuanced Bible wisdom such as the one above wrapped up in relatable stories of the kinds of struggles we all face today:

“God says, you don’t have to run anymore.”

“Stop running, if you stop running and turn to God, the raging in your life stops.”

If you have experienced this kind of “coming to Jesus”, you know how real that peace feels.   I’ve tried to explain it, share it, encourage it to all those I see suffering.  To lay down your worries and fear, your mistakes and your ego, your persecution and your grief, your guilt and your pain.  To lay them all down and release them into God’s able hands.  They are not yours to carry, alone.  I’ve enjoyed hearing other people share their experiences in this often as well, but often times, the message is unfortunately lost in translation to most.  Eyerolls or checking out – “church is just a sham” and all the brush offs.  Because, as the movie says, “You have to decide, for yourself.  We all have to decide.”  That’s a tough pill to swallow when you see a loved one suffering, and they have not decided to turn to God. 

The last few years brought a lot of struggle, longing and hopelessness for me.  I haven’t figured it all out yet.  While I know I can trust Him, I am still a flawed daughter.  The podcast I listen to (Bible in a Year, by Father Mike Schmitz, highly recommend), the last 2 days have sent gentle reminders that we don’t always get what we want, rather we get what is meant for us. And in those times, even when we don’t feel like we have anything to praise Him for, He continues to be faithful to us.   Father Mike, from Psalm 118:18, “The Lord has chastened me sorely, but He’s not given me over to death,” goes on to explain, while we experience hardships of our misguided choosing, “He’s allowed me to have what I’ve chosen, but He has not abandoned any of us.  When we are faithless, He remains faithful.”  Try as I might, I have been feeling like a faithless daughter, even though I know He continues to be faithful to me.

So here are two more quotes from the movie I’d like to share on that note.  The first: “You opened yourself up to things you didn’t understand, and I’m changed because of it.”  How many different events, seasons, moments and people can you be reminded of in your life that you took a chance on, or perhaps they took a chance on you, and you grew?  In your leap in faith, you likely inspired someone else as well.  Taking that step into the unknown with hope or faith, or maybe even with desperation, is God calling you forward.  Walking into an unknown, opening yourself up where you may be closed off, that is where God finds you.

So lastly,

“Don’t be so arrogant to think God can’t work through your failures.”

See the movie, it’s a good one!