1 Year.

I've been anticipating the last couple weeks for months. The 1st anniversary of something that never should have happened. I was grateful to have a trip planned the month before it; which was when, last year, I was asked about picking an engagement ring and filled with more happiness and hope for my future than I possibly could have contained. And I thought entering this month was going to be really tough one for me, as anyone who has experienced a loss can recall. But here's what I didn't see coming...

The pride and gratefulness I've experienced instead. My business practice developing, the planning and success of the school carnival, the death of a friend that humbled and bonded many women around me, the privilege to present for the Governor's office, being asked to participate and share a piece of my story in an emotional podcast with fellow writers I look up to and a sea of empowering friends reaching out wanting to share a coffee or a beer and some laughs.

And before I knew it, it was March 15th, the day a piece of my deepest parts were forever changed, just a year ago. And today, March 15th, I am feeling honored to be asked to become a part of a board and team setting out for awareness and change in the state family court system.

How much has grown in the last year.

Grief and hardship comes with a very mixed bag of moods. Sometimes you're up, sometimes your dragged way down. Varying depending on the day, the season, what you're wearing, the temperature outside or any other tiny reminders that live rent free in our minds. Despite my difficulty embracing change, there is a laid path for me to take. I don't often understand it, but hindsight is always telling.

I consider the past, when it was upsetting to someone that my time was shared with school volunteering and wonky work hours, and I realize: without change, there wouldn't have been any room for me to further pursue writing, building my practice, networking and joining this non-profit. There was a path. I was very reluctant to take it, but 1 year ago today, I was shoved on that path like it or not.

It's still a shame. My heart still hurts and I wish so badly things could be different. Perhaps in time, God-willing they will be. But I'm peeking into where my path may lead, and I'm strengthened by the reminder that I'm a fighter, and there is purpose in pain. Faith over fear. One day at a time, thanking God each step on this journey.

I am grateful for the truly, good souls around me who know me. All the times they mourn with me and celebrate with me. And all the love, laughs, time and support you've shared with me along the way! Thank you for writing this story with me! ♡